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The start of a blog

So I have decided I am going to start my own blog on here and I don’t care if no one reads it, it is just a way for me to vent. 

Here goes nothing:

So I have been talking to this guy for the last 10 months and I really like him a lot. I feel like I bug sometimes though so I am trying hard to not care as much if we talk as much as we used to in a day or if we spend as much time together but its hard, let me tell ya that telling your self that it doesn’t matter and don’t care is a lot easier said than done. I often wonder though if he thinks about me as much as I think about him or if he feels the same way I feel about him. I don’t know what it is but something about him has a hold of me it feel like. 

Anywho, I am not so sure what all you are suppose to talk about in a blog or what I should say without seeming weird or crazy lol I wanna change the subject though so I am going to lol its the summer and I usually don’t go to the pool and if i do it is like 3 times tops during a summer and so far I am breaking that record this year! I have gone to the pool 3 times so far and am going for the 4th time on Monday! I can’t believe it lol maybe its the power of working out that is giving me the confidence to go, I don’t know lol as far as for my skin, usually I burn in the summer but I was doing good the first 2 times I went with just getting some color and no burn. However, the 3rd day I went I used my own tanning oil that has like a spf of 15 and was doing good with no burning and just getting some color. Well, I got the bright idea that I wanted to try my friends tanning that has like no spf in it and ended up burning my shoulder and like from collar bone to collar bone. Yay me! lol I get the brightest ideas sometimes. 

I think that is all I am going to do for day one though so adios muchachos and muchachas lol 


I hate the feeling

I hate the feeling that I’m alone. I know there are a few people that care though. I hate bottling up all my emotions and thoughts because eventually it ends up hurting me but its still better than telling them to someone who I know really doesn’t care no matter what they say. Eventually all I can do is cry. I hate not knowing what to do. I hate not knowing how to release all this pain. I may appear to be strong or just the biggest bitch or however you want to see me but maybe that’s not really me….maybe no one but God really knows me. I wish I knew how to release all this. There is so much to say but I’m just not sure how to put it in words….

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